Making a Good First Impression
First impressions last, according to experts who study dating relationships. That is why, when you meet someone, it will be important to make a good impression. That is, if you are interested in the attention of the other person.
The Man
Get your attitudes ready before you meet. It comes through in small non-verbal gestures that another person will pick up. A positive, hopeful attitude will communicate you have interest in meeting the woman. Help her be seated. Notice how she looks. Indicate you appreciate her willingness to meet you. .
1. Communicate a sense of approachability. Part of this is being calm and part is shown in a relaxed posture (not too relaxed). Communicate that you understand that both of you want to become acquainted. Ask for permission to ask questions. Enjoy the process and have a bit of fun.
2. Display a clear interest in her through body language. This includes making and keeping eye contact. Nodding your head when she is speaking. Asking one or two follow up questions about what she says before you offer your opinion or change the subject. And, once in awhile indicate enjoyment of something said by vigorously nodding your head and smiling.
3. Think about and identify some topics of conversation that will be both interesting and safe to talk about. At a first meeting the best topics are about people you both may know, places you may have both have traveled to, where you and she went to school, careers and work, experiences she may have had while in school or at work.
4. Share a little information about yourself. Talking too much about yourself risks communicating you are boring or conceited. When you talk about yourself, tell a few things to indicate you are comfortable doing so. After you have talked a little move the conversation to some common interest the two of you might share. "Well, enough about me..."
5. Communicate that you feel positive about yourself. Modesty is a good trait. However, it is a good thing if you reluctantly communicate about some achievements or accomplishments or positive experiences you may have had. She will want to assess how you feel about yourself.
6. Communicate honesty, kindness, and be genuine. The most impressive things during the first meeting are the absence of trying too hard to impress. If you naturally communicate warmth and interest she will pick it up without you having to blast it out. Besides sex appeal these are the qualities valued most by women.
7. If you can have fun with her, try it out. If you are not good at telling jokes, poking fun, using good natured kidding, donât try it on the first meeting. It is like sarcastic humor. You have to develop rapport before both people know for certain what you mean. If you are good at it, however, a little humor goes a long way on the first meeting. Make certain it is not aimed at her, but about some topic or subject you are talking about. Too much laughter indicates too much anxiety.
8. Do not spend a great deal of time during the first meeting. That is unless both of you are really interested in each other. Usually the most impressive thing is to have a reasonable meeting (e.g. lunch) but ask for a subsequent date soon after.
9. Communicate appreciation for her willingness to meet with you. She took a risk meeting you. She made an effort to join with you. Saying thank you and telling her you recognize that will allow you communicate you can see the obvious. It will prepare her for the next meeting if you choose to have one.
The Woman
1. Appearance, Attitude, and Confidence. If you look good you will probably feel good. It is effort that matters more than anything else. If you have a positive attitude about the meeting it will show up. A mature man will appreciate that you have tried to present yourself well and will be impressed by that.
2. Be prepared. Have a few ideas you want to talk about before you meet him. They should be about things both of you have some experience with such as work, past experience, people you might know, travel, and etc.
3. Adaptable and Approachable. If he is traditional and wants to open doors and/or seat you at the table, enjoy it. If he does not, then take care of yourself without much fuss. If he initiates the conversation, respond. If he does not, then ask a question or two. Communicate that you are approachable through your non-verbal gestures such as smiling, looking into his eyes, laughing a little, and noticing something about the place where you are meeting.
4. Show a clear and sincere interest. Imagine he has a sign on his chest that says, "I want to feel important. Ask inquiry questions to learn about him. Sometime summarize what you hear, before you make comments. If you learn something acknowledge that you have.
5. Pace the conversation. You may need to stimulate the conversation by telling an experience or asking questions. Notice how he responds when you do each of these. Pacing the conversation will enable you to participate without talking too much (a common sign of insecurity) or too little.
6. Blatant and subtle approval. Select at least one thing to openly approve of. His appearance, the way he talks, his ideas, and etc. Smiling, nodding your head, preening your hair (tossing your hair out of your face) crossing your legs or tucking them under a chair, and adjusting your body posture to more directly face him while he is talking are subtle forms of approval.
7. Elusive sex appeal: Sex appeal is a combination of looks, carriage, character, and warmth. Some men may say they like more open sexual displays, but these men often do not commit to or participate in long term relationships. Men that do, wish to discover your sex appeal on their own and that it is related to them.
8. A touch, a smile, and a thank you: If it is appropriate, find a way to give a non-sexual touch (to an arm or hand) throw in a few smiles, and thank him for being willing to meet with you. It took some courage. It is alright to tell him that."