How to Break Up Smoothly
The average person will go through the process of dating and breaking up five times before he finally marries. This process can sometimes be extremely hard and tiresome. It is possible, however, to end a serious relationship that needs to end, without devastating the other person and yourself. You can also turn the breakup into a stepping stone for your success by learning valuable relationship skills.
Imagine Saying Something Like:
John, I can only imagine the trauma you must be enduring but our friendship is not what I wanted it to be and I feel we cannot continue living this lie. I feel you are a lovely human being and that you really deserve a better girlfriend. I have felt this way for quite some time and I thought that with time, things would somehow repair themselves. I am so sorry if I have hurt you in any way and you should look for someone more compatible. I honestly never really wanted this to happen but I don't feel the spark in our relationship anymore. None of this is your fault and I will always cherish the time spent with you. It's over but don't worry, we will always remain dear to each other.
Dating - It is the vehicle we must all use to get to what we all want: an enduring, loving, and committed relationship. The problem with dating is it only has two options; eventually you either break up or get married. Some people mistakenly think there is a third alternative and they drag out the relationship until both parties have suffered tremendously before finally ending the courtship.
Indications of a Relationship in Trouble
Sometimes the only reason to break up is the simple fact that you both would be happier with someone else. Occasionally, relationships are formed for the wrong reasons or have inappropriate motives. Two important ingredients that are primary for a relationship to develop into a healthy marriage are communication and genuine interest in each other. If you don't have these two factors then it is nearly impossible to create a lasting marriage.
1. You feel emotionally drained. One person may demand too much or is using the other in an inappropriate manner. You may feel your energy being sapped away when you are with your partner.
2. You feel obligated. Obligation isn't necessarily a bad thing. All relationships feel some degree of obligation. You know you have a problem when you feel obligated to do the simplest things that you should want to do or that you did in other committed relationships. The obligated feeling makes you feel resentment toward your loved one. You begin to feel you want space and time to "be alone."
3. Conversations are no longer enjoyable. You begin to have serious talks the majority of the time. No longer are you and your girlfriend fun and carefree, but you always feel that you have "to talk."
4. You test each other. You start measuring his love by what he does for you. Examples are a woman might say, "If he really loves me he will call me as soon as he gets home. A man might say, "If she really cares about me she will understand that I need to be with my friends all weekend."
5. You can't communicate. You feel you can't talk to your partner because you are afraid he will not understand. You know you have a problem if you can't say what you honestly feel about various things and also the relationship.
Get To the Point
When your relationship has these indicators in it, you must be willing to face the truth. The truth is that you want to end it, but may feel uncomfortable. Now, ask yourself a question. Is it better to keep seeing someone when you know you are going to end it? Or is it better to get right to the point as soon as you decide. Have courage and save both of you time and feelings."